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Archive for the ‘Harold’s Blog’ Category

Harold’s Blog: Basic Instincts

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

instincts_h150Instincts are there for a reason, but when it comes to addiction, they get out of whack and can send you spinning out of control.

We all have God-given instincts that revolve around sex, socializing and security. Unfortunately, most addicts overdo all of them. We’ve never had any kind of limitation on any of these instincts, and we run on our own self-will. Like so many addicts, I didn’t believe I had any character defects. If everyone else would just get in line everything would be fine.

The truth is, I did have character defects and every one of them stemmed from these three instincts. Fortunately, around the time I realized this, I was ready for God to help change these areas of my life. Of course, that’s easier said than done. (more…)


Harold’s Blog: Never Say Never

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

Never Say NeverPutting an end to “no, never!” thinking makes for lasting recovery.

Many people enter the recovery process with the attitude, “there are certain things I’m not going to give up or change.” I felt that way. But I’ve since learned that when the pain is great enough, I’m going to do whatever I have to do to stay sober. That’s the ultimate goal: maintaining my sobriety.

To me, when someone makes the statement that they’re never going to give up something that is obviously a character defect (see Step 6 in A.A. for more on character defects), that person is not 100 percent willing to recover. The good news is, sometimes we don’t need to be 100 percent willing — if you’re certain you can handle the result. For example, say a recovering alcoholic has a penchant for gambling. (more…)


Harold’s Blog: Me, me, me!

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

I love meIn recovery, it’s no longer all about us – and that’s a good thing.

As an alcoholic, I was selfish. It was all about me, me, me. I didn’t put my family first. I wasn’t a good steward of my money. I would overspend and buy things that made me look good. Instead of taking my daughter on vacation, I would buy a new car (without consulting my significant other, of course!). I didn’t give a thought to how to pay for it until the first bill came, and I didn’t think about how my actions would affect or hurt those around me. At the time, I never thought I was selfish or self-centered. That’s just what the disease wanted.
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Harold’s Blog: Justification

Friday, June 5th, 2009

noahjustifyThis tricky technique lets us feel okay about doing things we never imagined possible.

We’ve all done it, tried to justify or rationalize a behavior we knew was wrong. “If you only knew how I felt.” “If you had the wife I had.” “If you had the job I had.” We justify.

When I was a kid I never dreamed of going to jail, that was a fear. But then it happened and I went through the shame, fear, etc. that goes along with getting arrested. But as my drinking continued to lead to trouble with the law, something strange happened: (more…)


Harold’s Blog: Ego Has to Go

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

egoblogThere’s no room for ego in the recovery process.

Learning to leave your ego at the door is the step in recovery that separates the men from the boys. I like to think of ego as standing for “Edging God Out.” But it wasn’t easy for me.

I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I could talk the talk, I never backed down from a fight, but I was also so fearful. I would only wear certain clothes because I wanted people to see me in a certain way. Ego played such a tremendous part in my life as an alcoholic.
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