Instincts are there for a reason, but when it comes to addiction, they get out of whack and can send you spinning out of control.
We all have God-given instincts that revolve around sex, socializing and security. Unfortunately, most addicts overdo all of them. We’ve never had any kind of limitation on any of these instincts, and we run on our own self-will. Like so many addicts, I didn’t believe I had any character defects. If everyone else would just get in line everything would be fine.
The truth is, I did have character defects and every one of them stemmed from these three instincts. Fortunately, around the time I realized this, I was ready for God to help change these areas of my life. Of course, that’s easier said than done. It was a huge hill to climb. I also had to learn that the instincts themselves aren’t wrong. It’s how we act on them. For instance, anger, when acted on in a negative way, is a character defect, but if we didn’t have any anger we’d all be walking around like zombies. After years of being sober and in recovery, I still have every character defect I ever had. The difference is I don’t act out on them and I don’t react to them.
It’s a process that I still take day by day. As I’ve said before, I have to think myself into correct actions and act my way into correct thinking. If we didn’t have any jealousy or anger we wouldn’t be human. But it’s a short step to acting out on those feelings, actions that I know from experience lead to guilt, shame and grief as well as a desire to drink to escape those feelings. Knowledge is power, and knowing what can lead me to that dangerous place is the only way I can successfully avoid it.
Harold Connell is an Outreach Specialist at La Paloma Treatment Center in Memphis, Tennessee, where he has brought numerous people into treatment. In addition to his experience as a professional on staff, he’s experienced addiction from the other side as well. After 10 attempts at treatment and many incarcerations he finally surrendered. He’s been sober since January 4, 2001.
Tags: Addicts, Anger, Character Defects, Harold Connell, Instincts, la paloma, Recovery, Sexual, Sober, Sobriety
