In recovery, it’s no longer all about us – and that’s a good thing.
As an alcoholic, I was selfish. It was all about me, me, me. I didn’t put my family first. I wasn’t a good steward of my money. I would overspend and buy things that made me look good. Instead of taking my daughter on vacation, I would buy a new car (without consulting my significant other, of course!). I didn’t give a thought to how to pay for it until the first bill came, and I didn’t think about how my actions would affect or hurt those around me. At the time, I never thought I was selfish or self-centered. That’s just what the disease wanted.
In recovery, it’s a whole different world. The process goes against everything an addicted person wants to hear. Admitting we’re powerless, finding God, cleaning house, helping others — those things weren’t on my agenda. But as I took it one step or one change at a time, I saw myself more clearly. And as I confronted who I had been and who I was now, I could see the connection between actions that led to feelings that led me to drink as a way to escape. By recognizing them and facing them head on, my agenda changed drastically.
Harold Connell is an Outreach Specialist at La Paloma Treatment Center in Memphis, Tennessee, where he has brought numerous people into treatment. In addition to his experience as a professional on staff, he’s experienced addiction from the other side as well. After 10 attempts at treatment and many incarcerations he finally surrendered. He’s been sober since January 4, 2001.
Tags: 12 steps, Addicted Person, Addiction, Alcoholic, la paloma, Recovery, Selfish
