Hanging on to past hurts only hurts you and your chances of experiencing true recovery.
All of us have a handful of real resentments that we hang on to. The key to letting them go is to look at who we’re angry at, why we’re angry and how it’s affecting us. Then there’s the hardest question to answer: What part did we play in it?
For addicts, we like to blame everything on the alcohol. Cheating, lying, fighting, stealing … blame it on the alcohol. I would do things when I was drinking that I would never do sober. I may have had the same desires before I took a drink, but the alcohol allowed me to act on them.
We also like to blame others. Someone had me put in jail on the day of my divorce for driving without a license. I was angry and I blamed them for causing my problems. My real problem, though, was that I had lost my license for driving drunk. That was my fault.
I used to say the alcohol made me crazy, but the truth is my life was unmanageable before I took a drink. Alcohol was just a symptom of that. So it’s not enough to simply stop drinking. It’s only once we get real with ourselves and admit our role in what we’ve done that we can begin to experience lasting change.
Harold Connell is an Outreach Specialist at La Paloma Treatment Center in Memphis, Tennessee, where he has brought numerous people into treatment. In addition to his experience as a professional on staff, he’s experienced addiction from the other side as well. After 10 attempts at treatment and 14 incarcerations he finally surrendered. He’s been sober since January 4, 2001 and says, “I love what I do. I don’t see me doing anything other than working in this field.”
Tags: addict, Alcohol, Drinking, drunk driving, Fault, Harold Connell, Jail, la paloma, resentment
Harold, it has been a very long time since we’ve been around each other and I had no idea of all that you have gone through. I commend you for realizing your problem and for reaching out to others so that your experiences can be shared that maybe someone else doesn’t have to fall so far. God Bless you and what you do.
Sincerely, A friend from back in the day(as the kids say it)
Wayne Bizzle