La Paloma Articles

When it comes to true recovery, it’s important to write it all down.

It’s one thing to take a searching moral inventory, it’s another thing to commit those negative traits and past mistakes to paper. There’s something about writing something down that makes it so real, so permanent.

I had fear of putting certain things on paper where someone could discover those secrets I’d protected for so long. It was only when my pain became great enough that surrender became easier. Eventually, everyone struggling with an addiction is either going to fight to the bitter end or pick up the tools. I chose to pick up the tools.

Once I gave in, I learned there’s magic in the pen. We may give a lot of thought to the things we’ve done, but until we actually pick up a pen and put it all on paper it’s hard to get past it. Only when we write it down does it actually become alive – more importantly, at the same time we kill it.

I knew I needed to do it 100 percent. I knew it was important to be as thorough as I could because those who don’t do this step are more likely to relapse. And when I started putting it on paper, I got an added benefit. It helped me figure out what made me tick. I discovered what I could do, what I couldn’t do. Most importantly, it gave me release.

Harold Connell is an Outreach Specialist at La Paloma Treatment Center in Memphis, Tennessee, where he’s brought numerous people into treatment. In addition to his experience as a professional on staff, he’s experienced addiction from the other side as well. After 10 attempts at treatment and 14 incarcerations he finally surrendered. He’s been sober since January 4, 2001 and says, “I love what I do. I don’t see me doing anything other than working in this field.”